Immer wieder Ziele haben

Irgendein Ziel haben wir eigentlich immer, nur manchmal kommen wir nicht an – oder noch schlimmer – fangen gar nicht erst an. Eigentlich schade, denn solange wir Bedürfnisse haben, haben wir auch Ziele … und die Wahl … zumindest zwischen zwei Möglichkeiten:

1. wir wollen zeigen, was in uns steckt, oder
2. wir wollen zeigen, wie gut wir Erwartungen erfüllen können.

Dann heißt es – möglichst schnell zurück auf die eigene Spur

Ein beliebtes und allseits bekanntes Spiel ist, andere für die eigenen Probleme verantwortlich zu machen. Unterm Strich ist das ein denkbar schlechter Weg – wer die Verantwortung abgibt, wird früher oder später zum Spielball fremder Interessen.

Neue Ziele für ein neues Leben

Das ist ganz einfach, braucht aber ein paar stille Stunden. Gönnen Sie sich den Luxus und halten einmal inne (am besten gleich) und machen Sie sich neue Gedanken. Jedes Ziel folgt unweigerlich einem inneren Bedürfnis, einem Wunsch, einer Sehnsucht. Deshalb kann es nur unser tiefstes Bedürfnis sein, zu wissen, was wir wirklich wollen, wie wir dahin kommen und es auch schaffen.

 Wie uns Kritik blockiert

Machen Sie ein Experiment (je ausführlicher, desto wirkungsvoller, am besten also schriftlich) und durchforsten Ihren Alltag. Stellen Sie sich dafür gezielt und liebevoll folgende Fragen:

  • Wie oft werden Sie kritisiert? – Wer kritisiert Sie wofür?
  • Wie reagieren Sie – schuldbewusst, abwehrend, erklärend?
  • Was ist dadurch langfristig besser geworden?
  • Wie oft kritisieren Sie und wofür?
  • Wen kritisieren Sie wofür und warum steht Ihnen das zu?
  • Wie reagieren die Kritisierten und was hat sich langfristig verbessert?

Was haben Sie heraus gefunden? Gibt es etwas, was Sie verändern wollen?

Neue Ziele für ein neues Leben – aber bitte ohne Kritik

Werden Sie auch unbedingt hellhörig, wenn Sie kritisiert werden. Oder glauben Sie auch (noch) an konstruktive Kritik? Warum eigentlich? Weil Sie die Erwartungen anderer noch besser erfüllen wollen oder sich nach Anerkennung und Liebe verzehren? Das ist ein großer Irrtum, denn erst die eigenen, echten Ziele und die eigenen, echten Bedürfnisse bringen uns Anerkennung und Liebe.

  • Wer kritisiert, verleugnet seine echten Bedürfnisse.
  • Wer sich kritisieren lässt, verleugnet seinen Selbstwert.

Ziele und Bedürfnisse sind untrennbar verbunden

Kümmern Sie sich um Ihre Bedürfnisse, um Ihre echten Ziele. Auch um die Ihrer Mitmenschen, denn wer kritisiert vermeidet, seine echten Bedürfnisse auszusprechen geschweige denn durchzusetzen. Falls er sie überhaupt kennt. Wenn wir füreinander da sind, geht es für alle gut aus.

… damit dein Leben dir gehört!

 

P.S.: Jedes selbstbestimmte Ziel ist an den eigenen Bedürfnissen orientiert und das Ergebnis einer bewussten Entscheidung.

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