Probleme sind verleugnete Bedürfnisse

Wer weiß, was er wirklich will, bekommt es auch

Hilfe, ich komme zu kurz!

Natürlich kommen Sie zu kurz, wenn Sie nicht nach Ihren Bedürfnissen leben. Natürlich kommen Sie zu kurz, wenn Sie als erwachsener Mensch nicht eigenständig für die Erfüllung Ihrer Bedürfnisse sorgen. Jeder emotionale Gefühlsausbruch ist das Ergebnis eines subjektiven zu kurz-Kommens. Jeder emotionale Rückzug ebenfalls. Leben Sie denn nach Ihren eigenen Bedürfnissen und Vorstellungen? Nein? Weil Sie sie nicht kennen oder schon lange verleugnet haben? Dann haben Sie zwei Probleme auf einmal. Erstens schreien verleugnete Bedürfnisse immer lauter nach Verwirklichung. Zweitens bedeutet das ein fremdbestimmtes Leben mit sehr viel Stress.

Das hört sich dann in etwa so an: “Ich werde nicht verstanden – man gönnt mir das nicht – mir hört keiner richtig zu – ich werde nicht respektiert, beachtet – ich bekomme zu wenig Liebe.” Im Stress zeigt Jeder untrügliche Zeichen eines Überlebenskampfes um Anerkennung und Liebe.

Hilfe … ich komme zu kurz!

Negative Gefühlsausbrüche machen mit Jedem eine Zeitreise in eine Vergangenheit, in der das Wohlbefinden vom Wohlwollen anderer abhing. Das ist jetzt vorbei … vorbei … vorbei. Jetzt gibt es nur die Aufgabe, selbstbestimmt und eigenständig nach eigenen Bedürfnissen zu leben, um gesehen, gehört und respektiert zu werden. Was ja nichts anderes bedeutet, als für sich und andere eine Bedeutung zu entwickeln.

Machen Sie einen Ausflug in Ihr jetziges Leben

Ihr Leben hat es verdient, sich die Muße für ein paar Fragen zu nehmen:

  1. Woraus besteht mein jetziges Leben?
  2. Worauf kommt es mir tagtäglich an?
  3. Wer unterstützt mich dabei – wen würde ich zu meinen Gegnern zählen?
  4. Welche unvollendeten Pläne oder Sehnsüchte geistern in meinem Kopf herum?
  5. Welche Probleme oder Konflikte müssten unbedingt gelöst werden?

Probleme sind verleugnete Bedürfnisse

Es wird viel über Probleme gesprochen, auch gern über die der anderen. Für ein selbstbestimmtes Leben wäre es allerdings hilfreicher, sich über die eigenen Bedürfnisse und deren Erfüllung zu unterhalten. Viel Raum nehmen auch Gespräche ein über das, was nicht funktioniert, wie andere sich verhalten sollten oder was einem zum x-ten Male passiert ist. Das ist reine Zeitvergeudung und bringt kein Fünkchen mehr Licht in Ihre Welt.

 „Egal, wo es hingeht, es gibt nur eine einzige Frage: Wo will ich hin?“ Reinhold Messner 

Ohne eigene Bedürfnisse keine echten Ziele

Wenn Sie wissen, was Sie brauchen, wissen Sie auch, was Sie wollen. So einfach ist das … ja wenn es doch so einfach wäre! Wir haben tausend und mehr Einwände im Kopf, warum dies und das nicht geht, was wir zu allem Überfluss auch noch wunderbar begründen können. Und es auch eifrig tun.

Viele Ziele teilen sich ein trauriges Schicksal:

  • Sie bleiben unbewusst und unvollendet
  • Ihre Verwirklichung hängt oft von Zufälligkeiten ab
  • Sie werden immer wieder in Zweifel gezogen

Lebe nach eigenen Bedürfnissen und Zielen

Nehmen Sie sich etwas Zeit und Raum, Papier und Stift, um Ihre ganz persönliche Bedürfnisliste zu erstellen. Nehmen Sie aber solange die übliche Schere aus dem Kopf und lassen es fließen. Sollte Ihnen das zu schwer fallen, beginnen Sie mit einer „Mängelliste“: „Was fehlt Ihnen, was wird verwehrt? Was glauben Sie nicht zu können und worin sind ALLE anderen besser?“

Darin verstecken sich Ihre Bedürfnisse, finden Sie sie heraus und nehmen Sie sie ernst. Beginnen Sie nun, ein Bedürfnis nach dem anderen in Ihr Leben zu integrieren: Formulieren Sie jedes einzelne Bedürfnis um zu einem Ziel. Dann wissen Sie, was Sie tun können … Licht in Ihre Welt bringen und sich Respekt zu verschaffen!

“Vielleicht gibt es tatsächlich nichts, was ein Mensch, wenn er all seine Kräfte auf ein einziges Ziel richtet, nicht fertig brächte.” Ogai Mori Rintaro aus Die Wildgans

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